Romans 12:1-2

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:1-2

Monday, March 5, 2012

Heart Work and No Bake Cookies

Ever since Hubby and I took a get-away trip together in mid-January and I went to a Mom Heart conference in mid-February, things at our home have gone much more smoothly.  I also started reading a book that I bought at the conference, Parenting is Heart Work (Dr. Scot Turansky and Joanne Miller).  I'm only part way through it, but it has made me think...
About what's going on in my sons' hearts.  When they have outbursts, is it really deliberate? Do they have an unmet need?  Are they having trouble expressing what it is they are really feeling?  I'm still quick to put a stop to when outbursts are disrespectful, but I'm learning to talk through that instead of yelling.  Yelling NEVER works anyway.

What their love language is.  It was harder to tell when they were younger, but now I know that I have one who speaks "doing things together" and one who speaks "doing things for - aka gifts".  I even talked to M. about love languages.  I love including that in the training process.

How important emotional health is.  In addition to not falling in the trap of disciplining when I'm angry, I understand that I don't have to fix everything.  Instead of fixing a problem, what my son may really need is my care and comfort.

I've already written about having Family Nights and turning off electronics on Saturday nights, but that continues to be a "win" for our family.  I know "Family Nights" whether Family Movie Night or Family Game Night or something else isn't anything new.  Although we've had them before and actually do spend quite a bit of family time together, I love making this deliberate and at home relaxed time.  Do we miss?  Of course, we were out of town one week and this coming Friday we will be at my son's school. 

Each family night we have is my favorite.  This past Friday we made No Bake Cookies (we being just M and I) and watched The Woodcarver (reviewed earlier in my blog).  Afterwards we all (including the dog) piled into L's full-size bed and discussed the movie which led into a discussion about something going on in our neighborhood.

It wasn't just the cookies or the movie, we connected on an emotional level; we enjoyed being together; we worked out some issues; we thought/talked about what happens when you let other things take over God's place in your life.

Another outcome of the book and spending time together was how I handled a discipline issue that arouse this week. (I totally give God and Parenting is Heart Work credit for it.)  I got an email from a teacher, then I talked at length with the teacher on the phone and set a conference.  My normal response would be to let my son know what happened, that it will never happen again, what will happen if it should and here's your consequence for all this.

This time, I let him know what happened, he had outbursts, I listened and empathized.  I gave some guidance.  He had more outbursts and processed.  At the end of the evening he wrote an apology note.  Not my suggestion or dictation.  Did he need a consequence from me?  Nope, he got one at school.  Was this better than my usual approach?  Absolutely!

No Bake Cookies (In no way do I condone these as healthy.  They are a family favorite though.)
2 cups sugar
1/4 cup cocoa
1/2 cup milk
1 stick margarine

Bring to a boil and let cook 5-7 minutes, then cool slightly.  (Slightly to me is 3-5 minutes.  This is the critical part to the cookies setting right.  If it's too hot everything is too runny.  I almost let it cool too long this time and the peanut butter didn't melt right.)

1/2 cup peanut butter
1 1/2 cup oatmeal (most recipes say the minute kind, but I use the Old-fashion kind because the oats are bigger and more tasty)
2 teaspoon vanilla.

Mix thoroughly.  Drop by spoonful on waxed paper. (Do this quickly before the mixture starts hardening in the pot.) Let cool.

Eat with a glass of milk, but don't eat too many!


  1. The next time I put in an order on Amazon, I am going to order that book. I wish I had bought it at the conference. I think I always get overwhelmed when I am shopping and there are too many choices to chosse from. I was having a hard time making a decision at that crowded / overflowing book table that day. :)

  2. This book sounds really good :) The cookie recipe sounds good, too. I hope that you enjoyed the conference. I'm way behind on commenting. My family has had some trials with health issues (grandmother still in hospital, daughter (16) they were testing for liver disorders...just some scary stuff--and we still do not know).


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